How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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