I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
