I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize