would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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