she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
accomplished twins. life is a go
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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