Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
