she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
