"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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