Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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