So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
this will be a night to untag.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
