You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
