So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
