I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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