that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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