My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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