hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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