i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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