that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
