How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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