I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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