The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize