I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
