omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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