So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
