At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
false alarm. still invincible.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
