okay pat passed out under dana's car
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize