I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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