Life is so much better after having sex.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
