The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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