all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
