So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
