Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm at about main and main street
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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