he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He shit in the fireplace
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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