you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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