Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
