Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
