My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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