life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize