Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
