Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
