I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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