My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
