it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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