So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Randomize
