Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
