I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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