the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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