We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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