Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
