So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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