No stitches, just platelets and will power
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
