So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
