so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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