Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
