why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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