Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
