Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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