Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
