beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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