if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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