Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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