somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
