bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
